I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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