wat bout pragnant strippers??
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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