are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
