so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
