we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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