You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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