I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Alive.
So much puke
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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