i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize