remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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