Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
