I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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