Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
