dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
