Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize