At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
