In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
