Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize