I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's official drugs can't kill me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
