we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
