so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
