Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
