Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
