I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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