you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
