The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
