the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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