sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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