so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize