Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
