Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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