Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
