I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
