i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
