She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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