This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
