No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize