I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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