saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
