is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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