I wish I could punch you in the face.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
