if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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