ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
