we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
