Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
