Banned from zoo.
Again?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
