the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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