At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
