brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's shark week go big or go home
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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