spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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