Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
