1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
