a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
