That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
