No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize