I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
