it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
