I'm eating all of the evidence.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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