yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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